QotD: I've Got a Crush on You

Can anyone help me? I've been seeing my 'special friend' more and more even though I was with this other lad. The lad I was with didn't even live near me-not even in the same region!! And women have needs too right? So when the opportunity for a bit of fun came along I wasn't wrong to take it was I? Anyway I like seeing my 'close friend' and it's easy because he lives on my street and he's a bit older so he always has the house to himself and I don't have a job and I've finished school for the summer so I have a lot of free time on my hands. It's understandable why I've been seeing him then isn't it? I told the lad I was with that I'd repeatedly cheated on him last night because I felt guilty but I have no reason to feel guilty. He kept saying that he'd forgive me and asking i we could try again because he's 'in love with me' (how does he know it's love? It can't be because I don't even have feelings for him) and I told him that I know if we got back together I'd easily cheat again.

He's such a push-over!! He was saying that he could forgive a girl a million times for anything. So he's basically giving me permission to go and 'have fun' with whoever I want as many times as I want and tell him about it-knowing that it won't affect me being with him. It's not fair for me to do that to him, it's not fair to put me in that position and it's definitely not fair for him to put himself in that position. Who in their right mind would do that to themself?

He was so annoying about it all that I told him we should try to be friends for the time being. He wassupposed to be coming to see me on July 25th and we were going to stay in a bed and breakfast together for the weekend. He's saying that he still wants to come down and wants me to spend the weekend with him (in a double bed-I don't think so). He then suggested being sex buddy's. He wouldn't let go so to hurt him I said 'No because I already have a fuck buddy!' I thought saying fuck would hurt him more.

So now I like 3 lads who live in my area but even if I get together with one of them I still want to see my 'special friend' but I don't even think I fancy him!!!

Does all of this make me a horrible person? Can anyone say that they would feel the same? If anyone thinks I am in the wrong please tell me how and what they would do differently.

I would appreciate it because I NEED HELP!!!